Day 14: Why Can’t I Sleep?

Last night I did the best I could to go to sleep at a reasonable time. I even took some unisom to help me and nothing. I was up till almost 3am. Naturally, I slept late as a result. This has to stop, I have to start getting up at 6am on Wednesday, so…yeah. This is a problem.

Yesterday’s starting weight: 218.4

Yesterday’s calories: 1750. Not the greatest day ever but also not the worst.

Yesterday’s exercise: 3574 steps. Not the long walk I was planning but better than nothing. The big dog was not having it yesterday and I’m not sure why.

Today’s weight: 216 THERE WE GO. I knew yesterday’s weight was an aberration.

Life issues:

First, the good.

1) I’m feeling good. My ankle is back to normal and I got a decent amount of housework/reading/socializing done this weekend.

2) The ex would really rather I NOT take him back to court for enforcement and as a result, I started the day with a peace offering from him. It’s a start, definitely.

And the bad.

1) I’m really disappointed in myself about the calories and the exercise situation. Why can’t I get it together??

2) I’m concerned about the sleep issues. It hasn’t been this bad in a while and the last time this happened it took over a week to really reset it back to where it was supposed to go. And I was basically worthless and in zombie mode that entire time, which I obviously can’t do again here.

3) I’m nervous about the work. I’m looking at the edits they gave me and I’m going to try again with those edits in mind but what if I’m just not good enough? What if my entire life is a lie and even a moderately easy job like this is outside my skill and talent range? Self-doubt is hitting me hard.

Anyway. I’m thinking of going back to intermittent fasting. I did this for a while and it did help because it’s ALWAYS the dinner/after dinner calories that put me over. I used to do this thing where I’d only have water and coffee till lunch and then eat all the day’s food between noon and 6pm and then nothing but water and maybe some tea in the evening. It worked for me but it is rough.

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