Day 19: Taking a Breather

Yesterday’s starting weight: 212.6

Yesterday’s calories: 1072

Yesterday’s exercise: 1415 steps. I really need to do a better job of walking.

Today’s weight: 214.2. To be fair, I expected a rebound. That much weight lost that quickly can only mean at least some of it was water.

Yesterday after sleeping all morning I spent the afternoon just getting re-settled. In therapy Thursday we talked about what constitutes good productivity for me and what is realistic to expect of myself, and so on. It was good to have a few hours where that was what I was thinking about and focusing on. I journaled and meditated and all the things my therapist would want me to do.

Then I got ready to head out to the first game of the season for my oldest, but she didn’t go to the game. Instead, the tryouts she was going to for another sport ran long. I told her–and my ex–that it was a bad idea. It’s not a sport she’s done. She has none of the required skills or experience, and she was doomed to failure. But he refused to listen and pushed her to try out anyway and as expected, she was cut. She was devastated. She called me late in the night, crying. It was terrible. I’ve texted her repeatedly since then and she’s not responding. It kills me. I wish I could be there for her. I am so angry with him for instigating this, I can’t even say.

Meanwhile, the younger one’s game for this afternoon was also cancelled, called due to weather that never materialized. As much as I didn’t want to see him and the other parents, I did want to see the older one. This whole situation is terrible.

Tonight we have a date night planned–and another one for tomorrow afternoon–so that should make me feel better. Tonight and tomorrow I absolutely must hit my steps. I refuse to go to bed until I have.


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