12 Weeks Pregnant and Still Dying

The good news is, the first trimester is just about over and this baby does not appear to be trying to kill itself. The bad news is that I’m still very very sick, quite a lot of the time.

Courtesy of the doctor, I’m now on the maximum dose of the diclegis, which means I’m groggy much of the time, plus zofran, and I’m barely managing to eat more than about half a day’s worth of food every other day or so. I’m not weighing myself anymore, so I don’t know what that looks like, but I would not be surprised to hear that I’m losing some weight. Which is fine, obviously, at my current weight. Fine for the baby, but pretty miserable for me.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday. We had a good one over here. I spent a lot of time with the children, and we’re getting a generic roomba for a Christmas present, due to arrive here tomorrow. I expect it to change my life.

Later this week, we start the diagnostic testing for this baby. The ultrasound measuring the nuchal width (how thick the neck is) and the companion blood test that should give us an idea what we’re looking at for Down’s syndrome and other chromosomal issues. If that risk level is higher than 1 in 250, we’ll move to the invasive tests, either the amnio or the CVS test, both of which carry a risk of miscarriage but should give a definitive answer to whether or not the kid has major problems.

If indeed the child has major issues, we may decide to terminate, which would be devastating. But fortunately, in Illinois, that process is not impossible for me the way it would be if I lived in other states. Although my doctor cannot perform the procedure, because he’s affiliated with a Catholic hospital and they ban all their doctors from performing abortions, apparently. Still. I sincerely hope that it doesn’t come to that. I always thought I could make that call if the child had major health issues, but the further this pregnancy goes, the harder that feels. In any event, this is going to be a stressful week, this week and next, until we get the results of the tests.



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