More Things I Don’t Need

This week saw a nasty flare up in the hostilities between me and my ex.

We have a simple and standard arrangement that includes the very reasonable requirement that you need to have the permission of whichever parent it will effect before you sign the kids up for an extracurricular activity.

This generally means you always need to get permission from the other parent. I always give my permission for his activities because I know the kids want to do them (with the exception of this spring, because of the high-risk pregnancy) and he has never given permission for any activity I select, because he’s a dick. The end result is that I have to cram any extracurricular activities into a single day per week, which is the only guaranteed time I have the kids.

You can, therefore, imagine my surprise when I discovered that he signed the older child up for sports, which requires her to participate in games. The games are only on my one day a week. It’s a done deal, he’s signed her up, she’s already registered. I’m also responsible for the sports physical this month and six weeks worth of training camp in the summer (AND the expense that goes with that) which will be great with a newborn, or a preemie, or on bedrest, because those are the choices I have.

And it means that neither kid can continue with Scouts, and it also means that the discussions I have been having with the little one about starting gymnastics are now moot because how can we make that work with games that are, in some case, an hour away.

I offered to switch him days next year, because that’s a reasonable solution. But he refused, because he already has them in a church activity that night and he doesn’t want to give that up.

Pause. Yes. He has something planned that he doesn’t want to give up, but he’s ok with forcing me to give up my plans.

And when I protested, he went straight to extortion. Say yes right now to this, or I’ll tell the schools you can’t have the kids and I won’t give them to you in the summer.

The schools have a copy of the court order, and that should be the end of that because obviously he can’t tell them to ignore the court order.

Unfortunately, he somehow managed to do just that. The school refused to give me the children yesterday. The little one went to the counselor with a stomachache and a rash, both caused by stress over this, and the counselor said, “It’s too bad, but that’s what the court order says.” Which, 1) who says that to a little kid, what the hell kind of counselor is that?? and 2) THAT’S NOT WHAT THE COURT ORDER SAYS.

But it’ll be different in the summer, you might be thinking. Unfortunately, no. The police in his city are the only ones I’ve ever heard of that outright refuse to enforce custody. It’s basically legitimized kidnapping.

Obviously, we have to take him back to court for this, which sucks because of course we don’t have the money for that. And I can’t really take this much stress.

The blood pressure–possibly as a result of this, possibly not–keeps getting worse. We’ve been in and out of the doctor’s offices, measuring it constantly, and we’re finally to the point now where they had to put me on medication for it. They said I’ll get used to it in time, but for now it’s making me really groggy. And so far, no noticeable decline in my blood pressure. We can go up to triple my current dosage before we have to go to the hospital for IV medication, so it’s looking ok for the baby to get to 34 weeks or more.



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