Being an Incubator

After last week’s triumphant visit to the specialist where I got to drop my blood pressure dosage, it seemed like everything was getting better. The lower dosage meant that I felt fine during the day and wasn’t suffering so much, since the side effects of the medication are very severe.

The blood tests that were run on Monday seemed to confirm that I was getting better. The liver functions had improved slightly, and although the platelets had dropped slightly, they were still within range, indicating that my kidneys were still working.

But then, the crash. The blood pressure started climbing again. Eventually it popped up to the 130/105 range, which is bad. The end result was that the doctor told me to put my dosage back to where it was before. To make it easier, he suggested that I take both of the pills at night, which might theoretically reduce the daytime symptoms.

Unfortunately, that’s not how that worked at all. Instead, the zombie effect came back three days in and the other symptoms did, too, the dizziness and the muscle weakness. I’ve been miserable and the kids have had a lot of nothing to do because I’ve spent the last couple of days sitting quietly and blinking, because of the medication side effects.

I saw the specialist’s nurse this morning and begged for a different medication with less terrible side effects. She was dubious, since we’re so close to the end of the pregnancy. But she promised to ask the doctor at some point and let me know. Otherwise, I will just go to the lower dosage because I can’t live like this. And we’re only a week away from when the kids go back to their dads, at which point I can put the dosage back up without too much guilt.

Meanwhile, the baby is suggesting that it might want to come a bit early regardless of the blood pressure. We had some weird leakage on Wednesday afternoon that might have been amniotic fluid, but no continuous leak, then we had several hours of real contractions, which eventually stopped on their own. Neither of these are things that happened with the last baby so we’re just holding on and waiting to see what happens next.

All of this speaks to the ongoing issue I’m having, which is that I’m primarily an incubator for the baby at this point. I’m trying to keep the child alive and growing, even at the cost of my own ability to do anything or think. It’s rough going.

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