I Hate Christmas

I KNOW. All the Christmas fans are outraged right now, but hear me out.

  1. I’m Jewish, so every freaking Christmas thing is just a fun reminder that I am an outsider. I don’t see any freaking menorahs on the walls of the kid’s school, but I DO see lyrics for Christmas carols, which…is that a violation of the separation of church and state? Feels like it maybe is. I’ll give you the Rudolph stuff, but Silent Night? I do not think so.
  2. EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT ONCE. This week, I had three separate school events, next week there are 3 more, and the Hannukkah things start that week as well.
  3. Everything costs a million dollars. Everyone needs presents. Family members, the kids, the kid’s teachers, everyone. And then of course the pants that fit the kids in the fall do not fit them any more, so everyone needs new clothes right now.
  4. This year I’m also worried about the surgery that is two weeks from Monday, so 12 days away. There’s a chance I only have 12 days left with the baby but I can’t SAY that because then I’m ruining everyone’s Christmas joy.
  5. Sickness. Why do illnesses run amok in schools in December? The kids are sick, I’m sick. I think the baby might be getting sick.

I hate the entire thing. If we could put a hard limit on the amount of holiday parties and presents it might be bearable but as it is, not so much.

Current checking account balance: 49 dollars and change. I have 8 days until we get paid again so that’s going to be fun.

Meanwhile, we’ll get paid and then immediately have to pay 232 to the surgeon and then another 500 to the the hospital on the Monday so the baby can have his surgery. I’m *almost* done with Christmas shopping. I have the stuff for the bigger girl to buy, so maybe about 60 dollars left to spend. And that’s everything, except for the brother-in-law that’s been threatening to beat us up, so maybe we don’t have to buy him something this year.

I’m hoping I can get 60 dollars worth of work done this week, in the evenings after the baby goes to sleep for the night. It’s not easy because I’m so sick, but things need to get done.

I am a mess over here. I’m eating whatever I want because of the possibility of dead baby in 12 days. I’m sick. I’m worried about the baby and the surgery. We don’t have enough money to do Christmas or the surgery, let alone both. I don’t know how we an do any of this.

 

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