Now that the baby has successfully had his surgery, and we’re into the new year, it’s time for us to put the pieces back together.
The good news is that we don’t have any other massive bills staring us in the face like we had with the surgery and nothing else terrible like the surgery or the high-risk pregnancy in our immediate future.
The bad news is, the damage from this past year is extensive and severe.
Between the surgery and the pregnancy, we went a further 4kish into debt. I weigh the same this morning as I did the day before I delivered the baby. The platinum insurance plan is now gone, so therapy is no longer an option for me.
We’re going to have to take the ex back to court because he persistently insists that he has the right to revoke my visitation at any time, and the school is letting him do so.
The fight with the school is another beast breathing down my back.
The house is still in trouble–we definitely have a water leak somewhere that we can’t find, and I have a SERIOUS fear that it’s under the foundation. Just last night the dog ripped a hole in the fence to escape because he can’t handle the fireworks our neighbors continue to send off.
We let the baby stop working on stuff like tummy time and other difficult enrichment options during the week prior to and after the surgery, so he’s falling behind there. Following the surgery, he’s not been eating and so he’s losing weight, a problem that appears to be continuing and the surgeon’s office is disavowing all responsibility and telling us to take it to the primary care.
The baby only sleeping 2-3 times a day at 30 minutes a pop is not helpful for my ability to work, either, which is no good considering the need for money that is very real.
It’s a lot.
The problems can be broken up, broadly, into several categories.
- Physical: this includes my weight loss, the baby’s need to gain weight, the baby’s need to get back on track with his developmental milestones.
- Financial: this includes the debt issues, the home repair issues, the lack of savings we have, the need for basic things like a dining table and chairs.
- Outside stressors: I put things like the upcoming lawsuit into this category, as well as the issues with the school for the older kids.
The husband is set to get a raise probably in the summer, which will help tremendously, but there’s many many months between here and there.
For now, we can only start where we are and do baby steps. In this case, that involves a simple set of tasks for me.
- Start getting the food under control. Ideally I’d be following the sugar-free diet as suggested by my endocrinologist. That involves oatmeal and berries for breakfast, a sweet potato or a mixed salad for lunch, the other one of those things for dinner, and cheese, nuts, fruit and hard boiled eggs for snacks. With a frozen fruit bar for dessert. For this week I’m going to start by eating a sweet potato and an apple every day. We’ll add more of the foods in once that habit is solidified.
- Start getting the work back on track. I can do a short, easy article for a ridiculously low amount of money in about 20 minutes. This will not solve my money issues but it will give me at least something coming in and I should be able to find that 20-30 minutes every day.
- We can’t do the lawsuit until we get a tax return, but I can push the school again when they resume this week unless I see some results from the meeting I took with the principal before the winter break. I have doubts about that meeting having any real effect, but only time will tell.
Going forward, I want to see something more like this:
Food: oatmeal and berries, apple, cheese and nuts, sweet potato, mixed salad, fruit bar. If I do that, it’s exactly 1300 calories a day, which is reasonable.
I also need to kick up my water intake. I’ve been tracking my water consumption for the past week and most days I have as much coffee as I have water, which…no. That’s bad.
The sleep has been largely better but not always–last night, for example, I was up till 3am.
Also, I’m averaging 5600 steps a day, which is not ideal.
One of the little articles every day, plus some mturk to give me an Amazon balance that can cover things like birthday and Christmas presents going forward. I’d like to start doing mini-ebooks once a week and putting them on the Kindle store to start to get some residual income coming in.
With the end of therapy as an option in my life, meditation and journaling just became essential.
I need to find a better way to maintain my peace while working with those assholes at the school.
I need to be able to calmly handle the lawsuit, which…I don’t know how that’s going to work.
I need to be pushing the baby on his rolling, which he’s past due for. He CAN roll, but he hates it and mostly just yells at me when I ask him to do it. He shouldn’t be doing that at this age, he should be able to roll easily and not get angry. His pediatrician is fine with him just working on muscle control but I’ll feel better if he rolls easily.
Also I have a bunch of Montessori resources I need to sort through and start doing with him, it’s time for him to get better enrichment all around.
It’s a lot. It’s so much, it’s incredibly overwhelming.
But for this week, it’s simple enough:
- eat a sweet potato every day
- eat an apple every day
- do an article every day
- make the baby do his tummy time every day
- go on a walk around the block every day