Two Weeks Without Sugar

Last week, after 5 days without sugar I was down about two pounds. This week, after another nearly perfect week, I’m down another 2.6 pounds. I’m only 5 pounds from what I weighed before I stress ate for six weeks ahead of the baby’s surgery, and only twelve pounds more than my lowest weight since the weight gain, the week after the baby was born when I had no appetite.

The only thing I’ve had that’s off plan is the toast part of the avocado toast I had at a brunch yesterday, but there was literally nothing there I could eat on-plan so I was going to be imperfect anyway and avocado toast is incredibly delicious.

Moving away from weight to other things, I’m still basically not working, which is bad because I’m still hemorrhaging money getting the basic stuff I need for the trip I’m making tomorrow morning and the things the kids need for school. I’m not working this week either, because I have only about an hour here before I have to go puppy-sit for my friend and when I get back it will be just eating and finishing packing and heading to bed because my flight is at 5:45 tomorrow morning.

The other big news is that my oldest is having a mental breakdown from the pressure of living with a diagnosed narcissist who doesn’t care what she feels like as long as she’s making him look good. She’s been writing depressed poems and short stories and one of her friends saw one and immediately told a teacher, who turned her over to the counselor.

The counselor told both sets of parents that she needs real therapy. Interestingly, she has a therapist–I had to go back to court and fight tooth and nail for it, and he fought against it to the extent where the therapist agreed the middle ground was to see the kids every six months–which is just about now–for evaluation purposes and only increase their schedule of therapy if they need it. Now we see if she’s going to behave ethically and increase her therapy regimen because she’s been cutting herself and definitely needs help.

Her dad’s take: she’s looking for attention. My new baby is why. She doesn’t want to get the dramatically shorter haircut he and his wife were about to force upon her and so she’s making up a problem to avoid it.

Her stepmom’s take: the teacher who was informed by her friend and reported it to the counselor is a male, and therefore the entire relationship he has with her is inappropriate if she felt more comfortable talking to him instead of a female teacher.

We spent the weekend trying to give her love and space, trying to give her self-care tools, trying to undo the damage that he caused her when he accused her of faking it.

And I sent an email to the school trying to protect her teacher, because there’s no indication anywhere that he’s been inappropriate, and I don’t want to see him go down for this.

She sees the therapist tomorrow, on her dad’s time, and he’s going to take her. I don’t know what pressure he’s going to put on her before she sees the therapist, but I hope she can handle it. I won’t see her until next week, because I’m going out of town and so is she, she has an overnight school event that was scheduled in advance on the time I would normally have her.

I’m very worried about her. It’s all pretty terrifying. We’re almost certainly going to have more legal fights as a result of this, but for now the main thing is to stabilize her.





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