Litigation, Juvenile Deliquency and Mindfulness

My younger child decided to foray into the world of juvenile delinquency this year, at the beginning of the summer. Do you know what happens when a pre-teen is making dramatically bad choices?

EVERYTHING.

Facilities for evaluation, detention facilities, psychological testing, medical testing, hearings, restitution, and it just goes ON and ON.

That was my entire summer.

The stress put me on Klonopin, which I have to say is the BEST drug ever made, but eventually I had to drive and care for the baby so I had to only use it in the evenings.

We used this opportunity to move on litigation for a change in custody, arguing that she’s a problem because of the ongoing problems he has in his household. She agrees and places the blame on him as well, which is–I know–very convenient for a kid in trouble. But the psych evaluations showed anxiety and anger issues, and the medical evaluations show the early stages of an autoimmune issue. The therapists are agreeing that the anxiety and anger issues are likely a result of her dad’s treatment of the kids.

We were able to get a judge to temporarily end his access to her, but her sister is not included in that, as there’s no sign that she’s excessively affected by the environment. We’ve been in this holding pattern all summer. Now that she’s back in school we’re trying to get a final hearing set but the ex keeps trying to push it back, farther and farther.

Meanwhile, her anxiety is made worse by the lack of closure on the legal. It’s a mess.

We have drained all the money we had, all the money we could find, everything. My in-laws are helping some with the legal bills but the amount we’ve spent on treatment facilities and medical/psychological treatment is ASTOUNDING. We spent all our flex spend and we have more to pay for her, and of course, that means every treatment for the rest of us is out of pocket.

Of course, for the first week or so, the husband took time off of work because we were so rattled and worried. We had multiple days where we were all so drained and upset we couldn’t handle cooking so we got pizza or takeout, which helped drain our resources even more. But we’ve been operating in crisis mode all summer.

It’s been sad. We couldn’t do anything this summer, not even simple day trip activities. No zoos, no museums, nothing. And now we’re struggling to pay basic bills, put food on the table, all that kind of thing.

If you want to help, we would LOVE it and be so grateful, you can hit up my PayPal at eloisejtaylor@gmail.com

But despite the money stresses and the long-term emotional and mental stress, I’m doing really well emotionally. How is this possible? My therapist suggested the app Calm for meditation before I had to stop my therapy because I have no money. That app is spectacular. I do the daily meditation every evening and then one or more of the sleep stories until I go to sleep.

Obviously, I’m not getting paid by these people. It’s just a genuine recommendation. I hate that it’s 13 bucks a month but for the ability to sleep without a ton of meds, it’s definitely worth the cost. I’m still paying for it, despite the money crunch because I can’t imagine surviving without meditation AND therapy.

I can tell you what a big improvement this is in my life this has been. I’ve been working on meditation and mindfulness with other apps for the last couple of years but this is the first time I’ve actually felt the effect.

 

 

 

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